😤 How Not to Be Annoying (or Lose Your Mind) at Work

Here’s a guide to working with me without losing your mind.

Summer’s over, Berlin’s back, Baby! 😎

And suddenly everyone’s working again – some with a suspicious level of enthusiasm if you ask me. However, I’m really happy that things feel like they are moving again and the only person blocking me is myself again.

Since my last little note here on Monday, I got many questions like:
“How did your feedback convo go?”
(If you’re confused, this is the sequel to this post.)

So here’s the answer: it went great. I (of course) came over-prepared and over-worried, but left the room clearer, lighter, and more motivated for what’s next.

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✍️ One unexpected outcome

We both agreed to create a “Manual of Me” - part working style cheat sheet, part psychological analysis, part emotional onboarding.
I immediately wondered why I hadn’t done this earlier. It’s the kind of thing that sounds a bit cringe in theory, but makes total sense in practice: if you want to avoid weird team dynamics, maybe don’t wait until someone’s burned out or defensive to ask how they like to be treated.

And it’s not just helpful for others – it’s a great exercise in self-reflection. Writing down how you actually want to work (instead of silently hoping people just know) forces you to get specific: what helps, what blocks, what secretly keeps you sane.
Plus, it’s surprisingly useful to know your team’s quirks – the small stuff that calms them down, makes them feel seen, or helps them do their best work.

Here is a link with the original concept, exercises, etc.

A few things from mine (examplatory):

📱 How to reach me:
WhatsApp is a really good bet in our set-up. I usually reply within 10 minutes (which is either impressive or slightly alarming). That said, voice notes give me anxiety – please include a quick summary if you send one, or risk being ignored entirely.
I do most of my work in the mornings, so please no meetings before lunch time.

🧊 How I deal with stress:
You probably won’t notice. I usually go quiet, grab an iced coffee, and won’t stop until I’ve worked through whatever’s causing the tension.
Adding extra drama or micromanagement at that point is the fastest way to make it worse.

⚠️ What triggers me:
Passive-aggressiveness is high on the list. So is being asked to do something without context, urgency, or clarity.
If there are five exclamation marks and no information, I will highly probably not put it on top of my priorities.

☕️ How to win me over:
Let me co-own the project. I care more when I get to shape it creatively - not just tick boxes.
Give me autonomy, context, a clap on the shoulder and coffee, and I’m yours.

🖥️ Quirks you should probably know:
What most people don’t think about me: I don’t do to-do lists and I don’t have a folder structure (You’d get a heart attack if you’d see my desktop).
Most of my best work happens before 7am.
I also communicate best with stickers and sentences that start as jokes but end up very honest.

✨ What lights me up:
Working with people who are smart and kind.
Getting things done fast (80/20 always), without over-engineering.
Jumping between topics without losing momentum.
Quiet high-fives over loud praise – but I’ll take both ;))
Efficiency with empathy and a lot of pragmatism.

🔌 When I shut down:
Nothing drains me faster than endless back-and-forth without decisions or ten people weighing in on a task that needed two.
Also, I’ll realise quite quickly if people are really interested or just being opportunistic.

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Assume Less, Ask More

Most “tense moments” at work aren’t about big conflicts – they’re about small things that were never said: the way someone texts, how they like feedback, if they need a „hi“ before the question.
If you talk about this stuff early, it becomes normal – if you don’t, it becomes drama.

At the end of the day, the magic in a team comes from different brains, styles, quirks – not sameness.
But having a shared base of understanding makes it so much easier to work together without stepping on each other’s (emotional) toes.

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🇩🇰 PS: I’m off to Copenhagen next week

Remote work, lake runs, endless bike rides, cardamom buns, Danish social welfare, and long-overdue friend time.
The weather forecast says sunshine and I’m taking it personally :)))

But for now: have a great weekend, everybody!

Cheers,
—Constanze